It was not an easy decision to leave and change the life your children grew up with.There have been many logistical issues and emotions to deal with as you have organized new living arrangements. They may worry that, if their parents can stop loving each other, then how hard would it be for either parent to stop loving them?With the US divorce rate still lingering around 50% for first marriages, many children have experienced their parents’ divorce by the time they are eighteen.And most adults are out and dating again within a year after their divorce, sometimes dating several partners before remarriage.But, we humans are instinctively drawn to partnering up.So chances are very good that sooner or later you (along with nearly every other divorced parent) will be dipping your toe into the waters of dating after divorce.
Your children may perceive a new person in your life as someone who could not only interrupt that reconciliation, but interfere with your time with your them as well.
They are dealing with their own issues of loss, betrayal, adjustment, trust- just to name a few.
Parents need to make sure before things get tricky that children understand their continued importance to them, the freedom for the child(ren) to continue a close loving relationship with the ex-spouse (despite any personal misgivings) and the possibility of new people in the parent’s life.
While there have been several studies on divorce, remarriage and step-parenting, very few exist for the courtship period parents go through before remarriage.
Here are some guidelines to consider concerning post-divorced dating and your children: Adjusting to the idea of dating isn’t just for parents. Constance Ahrons, author of The Good Divorce and We’re Still Family and professor emeritus at University Southern California, recently completed a 20 year longitudinal study on children of divorce.